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More Sex Please, I’m British :-)

February 6, 2014

It is a myth that the British are prudish, repressed and asexual. It’s also true that the British can be prudish, repressed and asexual but the same is entirely true of any nation across the globe. People are people.

When I was in India a few years ago I spent three months living with the locals in a small village in the South. It was still a relatively touristy area but I stayed off the beaten track so that I could still get to know a little about local life, without increasing the risk of ‘Delhi Belly’ (because the touristy area provided Western food when my gut needed the rest). I got to know the young Indian lads pretty well and soon after they had welcomed me into their confidence, the questions started to fly from their lips:

            “Mr Matt, if my white stuff go on the girl’s stomach, can the girl get the baby?”

            “Mr Matt, my white stuff went in the girl mouth – will she now have the baby?”

The questions were very, very serious and delivered with such fear that I dare not raise a smile. The men who asked me this were from the ages of nineteen up to twenty six. Sex was not discussed in school, by their parents or even amongst some of the young men. Thankfully a handful of young men were particularly overtly sexual and this gave the more shy men permission to open up a topic. The problem, as with any rabble of adolescents, is that a lot of misinformation was bandied about by the ‘experts’. Enter ‘Mr Matt’:

            “No, the girl cannot get the baby if the white stuff go in the mouth or on the skin. But really you need to be careful with the white stuff in the mouth…. (I then try to explain about STI’s, badly, so give up and continue basic Sex Ed) …the girl can only get the baby if the white stuff go inside the girl’s parts…” here I do the actions, I’m sure you can imagine….

It’s funny. Of course it’s funny. But it is also deeply saddening that men are not being educated on basic sex education. Most men are too frightened to go to the chemist to buy condoms and some men don’t even know what condoms do. Why? Because not enough people are brave enough to talk about sex (and the ones who are don’t know what they’re talking about, through no fault of their own).

Isn’t this the case everywhere?

I don’t really think about the impact of how I talk to people until it’s pointed out to me. Some years ago I was assisting a colleague with a personal development group and a guy pulled me aside to ask me if I’d give him some healing (I was a professional healer at the time). I am a little psychic and picked up on the fact that his partner was making him have the kind of sex that he didn’t want. So I told him:

“I’m happy to give you some healing, but really you just need to face up to what is really happening in your relationship. You need to be having sex that is emotionally connected, not just ‘head-sex’” My colleague was nearby and chipped in, in order to appease the shocked look on the guy’s face:

“Oh don’t mind Matt, he tells it like it is”. Don’t we all? No we don’t and maybe that’s the problem.

I don’t ‘tell it like it is’ all the time and am becoming more and more aware of the times that I avoid being this honest. Why do I do this? Why do any of us do this? I think it’s high time we put our mouths where our hormones are because think of the dire consequences if we don’t:

Terrified teenagers, confused twenty six years olds and pregnant young people – all because we were too stuck in our ‘No sex please, I’m #enteryournationalityhere#’

Was it worth it?

Were we having fun?

No, I didn’t think so.

So let’s have more sex please – because we’re human.

Until Next Time,

Matt xx

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