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Going Home

January 3, 2013

In 2006 I went home. That home was India, a place I had never visited physically before. I didn’t realise it until I got there – but before that homecoming I had never, ever felt at home anywhere. As I sat one night, inhaling the Arabian Sea, sitting heavily on a chair made from coconut tree, I realised that all of my life, right upto that moment –  – I had felt alone. It was a painful but necessary epiphany.

I have been back a few times since but not for almost four years – and I’m homesick. It feels great! Why? Because I know that I am going home soon. I had an email from my ‘Sister’ in India saying: ‘You are wanted here, come home’. For those of you with family, you may well recognise this pull. For me, it is relatively new and so I am bathing in its sunlight. The word ‘home’ trickles over my brow like warm water heated by the afternoon sun. I can smell the stench of the muddy Indian roads, see my friends and ‘family’ waiting at the doorstep of the old Goan Bed and Breakfast in a delightfully scruffy Shanti town and I can even TASTE the chick pea curry and Goan bread.

On my last visit this particular ‘Sister’ (I have a few now) said to me: ‘Now remember that you have family in Goa’ and I have never forgotten. 2012 was a toughy, important lessons, but a toughy and so now that I have helped everyone that needed it and now that I have learnt my own lessons (for now) as an integral part of that – it’s time to allow my family to embrace me.

Who is your family?

Family does not have to be blood related, in fact, it is very often the love – and I mean absolute love – of strangers that has carried me forward and often scooped me up and out of the deepest darkest pits of despair.

Let them in. Let me in. I can help you.

Feeling any resistance?

It can be difficult but I know that when I push past my trust issues, defence mechanisms (yawn!) and all that conditioning – the love of my family feels all the more supportive, like the safety net you thought you’d forgotten to put out as you find yourself hurling towards planet earth!

We are all safety nets for each other. We are all supporting one other. We are family.

Know it. Let’s do it.


Matt Chase 🙂

Holy Cow It's Hot Here!

Holy Cow It’s Hot Here!

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