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When Good Just Isn’t Good Enough

January 8, 2013

‘Be Good’ is a term often used no matter where you come from. It has quite a few connotations: ‘Behave yourself’ being one so, for me, I prefer to use words such as: FABULOUS and: FANTASTIC: and WONDER FULL (I don’t really go in for the AWESOME, I can be a little too British sometimes ;-))

Why do I do this?

Because each and every time I use a POSITIVE POWERFUL word – I am kicking ass in my head. I am deliberately re-programming all the ‘Good enough’ all of those ‘Well it’s OK’ and the few ‘It’s crap actually’.

I DO THIS BECAUSE I AM IN CONTROL.

I used to have a problem, a real problem, with motivational speakers, the capitalisation used in training manuals, on websites and blogs would infuriate me – I WAS HAVING A REACTION.

Why?

Because I was intimidated by their confidence. Because the negative neural pathways (see ‘Reprogramming the Crap’) were kicking off big style at the motivational speakers’ ‘arrogance’. The negativity wanted to rule the roost by keeping me on my perch – I stopped that and began to recognise aspects of the speakers’ personalities that I would actually like to have (English Gentleman style, of course). Now, instead of being ‘Good enough’ and in place of using my energy to judge others: I SHOUT LOUD POSITIVE STATEMENTS TO MYSELF – WAHEEY I AM FANTASTIC, HEAR ME ROAR!!!!

You will know if you have read my blog before and/or have worked with me that I always offer a friendly warning here: Positive thinking is GREAT, Affirmations are FANTASTIC, Reprogramming/Reframing are BRILLIANT ways to change your life and leave all those negative patterns of behaviour behind…. yep, here it comes: BUT and it’s a BIG BUT (hey, who you callin’ fat ass??) – Watch out and watch in (you) that you are not using these positive statements and behaviours to cover up some deep seated trauma, grief, loss, shame, guilt, =addyourownhere= that NEEDS to be processed BEFORE any reprogramming can be done.

Otherwise:

What will happen is that you will suddenly, often dramatically and OF COURSE unexpectedly fall flat on your ‘positive’ face.

Why?

Because the Positivity (I much prefer OPTIMISM actually) wasn’t REAL.

Who do you want to be? Real? or fake? I thought so.

I trust you. I really want you to know – THAT I TRUST YOU.

To make the right choices about when to feel, when to process, when to have therapy, when to make love, when to heal…

AND WHEN TO KICK ASS IN CAPITAL LETTERS!!!!!!

Until Next Time,

Matt Chase 🙂

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3 Comments
  1. erinparker75 permalink

    the processing part is SO painful sometimes, but you’re right – its the first step towards healing. i had to confront a lot of demons a few months ago that i had kept hidden from myself for YEARS! bringing them out was scary and sad and awful because you actually force yourself to look at your fears instead of pushing them into a dark corner. but its the only way to work through them and find healing so that you can be free. and….now i’m free 🙂
    great post

    • Hi Erin and thanks for your comment, I can sense your sense of freedom and this brings a great big smile to my face! 🙂 < See!

      Sure the processing REALLY hurts (sometimes) but WOW the sense of relief afterwards is like: 'Why didn't I do that before? I feel SO much better!'

      Much love to you and thanks again.

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