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OK, Well That Was Weird…

October 29, 2013

There is an old saying: ‘How do you make God laugh? Tell Him your plans!’

Today I went to a meeting for a local club night. I went along purely out of curiosity and maybe, just maybe as a result of nostalgia fuelled by memories of my clubbing days (a loooong time ago…). The meeting was in the Students’ Union of a University of major city in the UK and I was filled with anxiety before going along for the meeting: ‘They will all be younger than me, they will all be students, I won’t fit in…’ etc etc.

Rewind slightly to last week when I was perusing the jobs section in the local newspaper. I saw a job as Support Worker for a voluntary organisation in the field of Mental Health – right up my street. I fit the bill personality-wise: engaging, empathic, a listener. I also have the qualifications desirable for the post (Psychotherapy, Social Care etc) and, above all, was surprised to find that I also had the enthusiasm for it – since the beginning of this year, as my own Mental Health deteriorated, I assumed that I would never work again in a ‘proper job’. Being a writer, I also assumed that the 9-5 world was well behind me and now beyond my reach. I applied. Not only that, I enjoyed filling the application form in and felt more and more confident with each part of the ‘Person Specification’ that I ticked: ‘I can do this’ I thought to myself and off the application form went along with two eager associates of mine as referees (it can be difficult to find referees when you’re self-employed, especially if you’re a self-employed writer applying for a job in a completely different field!) The closing date is today with interviews are next week. I will know in the next day or two if I am invited for interview. Wish me luck.

Fast forward again to today and the me who has just returned from the ‘Curiosity Meeting’ for the club night. I got there dead on time and walked into the room to find a comfortable rabble of people of all colours, creeds, persuasions and musical tastes. The anxiety within fell away effortlessly and I became the ‘Me’ that I know and love – chatty, confident, genuinely interested in people and quite frankly – really rather funny. I enjoyed each and every person in the room and they me. I signed up to flyer for the club night and help to set up the dance arena on the day of the event.

Hang on…

I’m supposed to (about to) be a Support Worker in the field of Mental Health! This is a responsible job! I can’t now suddenly decide to be a club promoter (well, okay, flyering isn’t exactly being a club promoter but one’s gotta start somewhere, hasn’t one?)… can I?

It seems that paradox, beautiful, ironic, teasing, delightfully succinct paradox – has yet again smacked me in the chops….

What will fate have in store for me? What life ventured forth whilst I was busy making other plans? Will I be ‘allowed’ to do both? Or will Lady Destiny gently wisp me away in another direction entirely?

Watch this space…

And here’s to making God laugh,

Matt xx

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