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Today Is A Very Important Day

January 12, 2014

Today is the sixth anniversary of the death of my Mother. I haven’t mentioned her much on this blog, I’m not sure why, maybe she just didn’t come up in ‘conversation’ or maybe I was too raw to mention her. Today I don’t feel raw. I feel blessed to have known her. I feel sad that I can no longer speak to her in person (although I often speak to her, assuming she can hear me!).

On the first anniversary of Mum’s death I was in Goa. I felt blessed to be there and deliberately went to Goa to grieve (or at least, to do some of the grieving) because I have ‘family’ there. They are not my blood family but my family no-less.

I remember on the 12th January that first year, I took an empty coconut shell, placed within it some crystals, a cigarette (Mum loved a ciggie), some matches (so she could light it) and a note to her and I wrapped the shell with the contents in a silk scarf and threw it into the conveniently high tide. The release was palpable.

That was five years ago.

Now is now and I have something to say to my Mum on the sixth anniversary of her passing:

I miss you. I am glad, so very glad that you are now free from the pain you suffered on this plane. I am also glad that you died – I do hope that you understand what I mean by this. I believe that the human form can bring so much suffering, so much toil, that sometimes, just sometimes – death is the only liberation.

I am glad you are liberated! I am so happy that you are free! I hope, so very much that you are happy!

Always remember that I love you. I hope and pray that this knowledge will help you to continue into even more happiness.

Thank you for being my Mum on this earth and thank you for loving me free from condition.

I will always, always – Remember you.

Matt, your son, with Love. Xx

  1. Amy warm, comforting thoughts of her be yours, Matt.

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