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Seeing Things As They Really Are

January 16, 2014

I was in the gym today and bumped into a guy who I have seen in there a few times. I don’t know him well, but I know him well enough. All will become clear…

“Hi Jon” I say as I walk past him in the locker room (not his real name)

“Hey dude how are you?” he asks

“Irritable today. Really irritable verging on angry” I say

“It’s a full moon” Jon responds

“Ah! Yes I’d forgotten, good to know. How are you?”

“I’ve got a lot of fear. At the moment. To do with jobs and things…”

Not exactly the usual conversation you hear in the men’s changing rooms at the gym is it? Well actually yes, in my world, it’s not that unusual but the difference here was that it was two-way. Very often I will announce to whoever happens to be there that I feel like shit, angry, irritable, alone – whatever – and they usually look at me as if I’m bonkers. I find this highly amusing and must confess I sometimes tell strangers my secrets just for fun. I know, awful isn’t it?

Actually no, I am toying with this a little and doing my thing of playing with a situation but this playfulness has a serious undertone – it takes GUTS to be authentic.

The conversation with Jon developed into me telling him about an argument I had had with a friend two days previous. When I say ‘argument’ it was actually me doing the arguing: bellowing from the top of my lungs and stomping up and down Oxford Street screaming obscenities. My friend just stood there shaking. Anyway, I discussed this authenticity (I was angry: therefore I let my friend know I was bloody angry) with Jon, in the locker room, with other guys toing and froing from the showers, squeezing past us to get to their lockers and the like… and suddenly I felt surrounded. I felt surrounded by realness. This tangible, manly realness.

Men have a bad reputation for not being in touch with their emotions. I dispute this. I dispute this very strongly from both my own experience of being real with my emotions and also from experiencing other men be incredibly skilled at witnessing my emotions without running from them.

Now – the deeper view of this, or wider view if you like: When we see ourselves clearly, when we experience our own inner situation as it really is – without trying to change it – it will often then – automatically transform into something else.

And so it stands to reason that the same phenomena will occur within our immediate universe and beyond.

Just something I learned today. In the locker room.

With Much Love,

Matt xx

  1. Absolutely to your authenticity references, Matt. However, in my years of work, I have found that most men (at least my clients and friends) either cannot or chose not to be in touch with their emotions. It’s sad and telling but such is how Western cultures have conditioned. The few who do are thriving in a very different world of awareness and love. Good on you for being open with yours!

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