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Connecting Emotionally When Making Love

February 8, 2014

Did you know that you can make love on a one night stand? Even kink (BDSM/Fetish etc) can be an emotionally connected experience. Trust me – I know.

Once upon a time in Amsterdam I was on the telephone to my Teacher (Guru/Spiritual Advisor) and she said to me:

“You seem different. Your voice is deeper, you’re more grounded and very in your body… I know! You are sexually satisfied for the first time in your life!” My Teacher exclaimed with such force that it woke me up.

“Oh great” I fumed “It took fifteen men” I was genuinely gutted by this realisation – who has the time to be arranging mass orgies every time sexual satisfaction is needed?

My Teacher went into an explanation of hedonism and its relation to spiritual development. We also discussed the effect of sexual satisfaction on the body, mind and self-esteem. I really had experienced such satisfaction that my entire view of the world (and the people in it) changed overnight. I was thirty four years old.

The reason that it had taken that long to sexually satisfy me is because I had spent most of my sexually active life satisfying my sexual partners and had become so good at it that they became accustomed to me being the ‘better’ partner in bed. Thus, what this meant was that they very often felt intimidated by me in the bedroom and so often either didn’t attempt to satisfy me or they did try and, mainly because of trying too hard, didn’t quite make it happen.

I’m making a sweeping generalisation here but I believe it’s true – the Dutch have such a grounded, earthy and sensual understanding of sexuality that they often make better lovers. Add fifteen or so Dutch men to the equation in trying to solve the sexual frustrations of an English man and = bingo. I learned a lot that weekend in Amsterdam…

I have always been good at sex. That is, I have always had a natural skill of making another person tingle by simply touching them pretty much anywhere. But there was something missing – I didn’t know how to bring myself into the equation – what was I avoiding?

I learned this on that enlightening weekend in Amsterdam – I was avoiding bringing my emotions into any sexual relationship I was having.

I changed that.

I do things differently (you may have noticed that).

Come find out why…

More Very Soon,

Matt Chase xx

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