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How to Masturbate – Part 4 (Very Mature Content)

Now, you’ve set the scene, introduced yourself to your body and hopefully increased your body sensitivity and awakened some latent senses that you may have been unaware of. If you haven’t, go back a few steps and enjoy building this new house. A house with many levels, numerous rooms and an abundance of doors. Which one would you like to go through next?

Let’s Get Physical;

One door (and it is only one) into the house of ecstasy is known as ‘The Genitals’. As you have already learned, there are many other ways to sexually stimulate yourself, even without touching your genitalia at all. Have you ever climaxed without stimulating your penis/clitoris? It is possible believe me. But for now, bearing in mind we have already set the scene (and you have had that bubble bath haven’t you? And you did get that massage oil out to enjoy?), perhaps now would be a good time to go down… with your hands.

Try using just one hand, using your fingers as gentle feathers to begin with. Do not worry about ‘technique’ for now, just gently – gently – caress yourself down there and see how it feels. More importantly – notice where you can feel it. Do your lips (on your face) tingle as you play with yourself? Are your ears burning? Can you feel that tingle in your right foot?

This will show you just how connected your entire body is sexually. The genitals – on both men and women – are of course very important but it really does not have to begin and end there. For now, keep this as it is: do the ‘setting the scene’ and enjoy it: sink into your bed/sofa/chair/wheelchair etc and truly feel your immediate surroundings, including your body. Now, just in case you are physically challenged, here’s a tip or two:

If you cannot touch yourself with your hands (or if you don’t have arms/hands), try using a long cane (with a soft tip, such as a feather or piece of leather) and move this slowly and gently using your mouth. If you are dexterous with your feet, use your toes as fingers to to hold the cane or similar implement to caress yourself. Or…

Ask a friend or professional sex worker to take you through the steps (the setting the scene, the massage oil, the bubble bath etc) and really connect with your own body. You will already know that your entire body can be erogenous – use it. More on this later but for now – and this goes for everyone – just take yourself to the edge of climax (if you can climax, more on this later) and allow that sexual energy to consume your whole body.


Matt Chase 🙂


Let’s Make A Love Train…

Let’s Make A Love Train

I don’t know what it is about right now. But right now I am so filled with overwhelming love that I feel I am about to burst. I want to make love to the entire world.

Is this possible?

Do you think that this is why I do what I do? (Anything Creative that Involves You Lovely People)

Do you think it is actually possible to touch each and every human being on the globe – in whichever way speaks to them – and to truly make a difference to the happiness in their lives?

I do.

How about we join forces.

Right now.

How about we take this very moment and choose to make it right. How about we make that choice right here and now to be the real change that we wish to see in the world?

How about we make a love train?

What if everyone joined forces to do only good in the world?

What would happen if we all immediately stopped judging each other?

What would the effect be?

Can you feel it?

I’m holding your hand.

M xx

The Best Fun You Can Have (With Your Clothes On)

When I was seventeen I had a rather unpredictable girlfriend, I shall call her Gemini, after her unpredictable sun sign. Gemini and I had spent half an hour or so in my bedroom fully clothed. I guess you could say we were ‘heavy petting’ or ‘dry humping’. Although I’m not a great fan of the term. Anyway, during our ‘dry humping’ session (if I’m not a fan, why did I just use it again?) Gemini made a lot of noise. She was so noisy I got kinda freaked out, I was not the most experienced (but boy have I made up for that…) and thought for a moment that she was in some sort of great pain, like she had pulled something.

After the heat of the moment had passed, Gemini and I went into the living room for some food and a cup of tea. After a while I started kissing her and she pulled way. I can still remember that feeling in my groin, that incomplete ‘I have to ejaculate now!’ feeling that had been building since the heavy petting session in the bedroom.

            “I think I had my pleasure in the bedroom” Gemini said, her blond hair bedraggled around her perfect mouth, coyly grinning.

She looked embarrassed.

            “Did you… you know…” I stupidly pointed to her crotch, increasing her embarrassment.

            “Yes” Gemini confirmed.

I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t think it was possible (I was only seventeen). How can anyone cum with their clothes still on?

Fast forward to now: at forty years of age I have lost count of the amount of orgasms I have had without taking a stitch off. Not only can I experience that all elusive (to men) multiple orgasm, but I can often, at will, bring the sexual energy from the base of my spine, up into my heart and then spin it around my body in order for me to experience what looks like a fit – but feels like a dry orgasm. What happens here is that the climactic energy (the sexual energy generally also) is redirected from the genitals, up through the spine and around the entire body – this results in a ‘body orgasm’ a ‘dry orgasm’ an ‘energetic orgasm’ or ‘multi orgasm’ to name a few terms.

I also teach men how to achieve this.

Women can achieve multiple orgasm, or in the very least a body orgasm (which is slightly different) far more easily. That said – not every woman has experienced this and there are ways to enhance this experience and also to increase the probability of you achieving a full-throttle climax.


With So Much Love You Could Go Horny….

Matt 🙂

PS This is particularly of interest, I believe, to those who may find themselves physically challenged in some way. If there are areas of your body that have little or no feeling, including the genitals, then very often this sexual energy can be awakened and moved around the body in other ways. Climax is possible without touching the genitals at all. When you are especially practiced and open to this – climax with your mind is possible.

Just something to think about…

How to Masturbate – Part 3 (Very Mature Content)

This is great fun isn’t it! Just how it’s supposed to be. So drop any shame, get rid of that old embarrassment that you used to have – and dive straight in… we are all going to masturbate together and have a great time!

No, actually, we’re not. That would kinda defeat the object of this solitary activity. Incidentally, the only reason you are doing this alone – for now – is so that you can really know intimacy, really understand your body, its hot buttons, its not-so-enjoyable buttons – so that you can share this understanding with your next lover (or the lover/partner you are with).

You also deserve to enjoy making love to yourself (and remember, if you are handicapable and require an assistant to help you with this activity, at this stage you are still making love to yourself it’s still masturbation and you deserve it. Your entire body is an erogenous zone, enjoy it).

Now: you’ve set the scene, you’ve installed the massage oil dispenser in the bedside table (so that Matt will stop going on about it), you’ve woken up some latent erogenous zones (which also happen to be acupressure points) – Now: you’re ready to dive into your Crown Jewels/Garden of Eden….

Well… you can if you want, if you prefer and if you really can’t wait any longer.


You could…

Wait just a moment longer. Take a breath, a deeeeeep nourishing breath as you relax back onto your bed or sofa, as you sink into your fluffy pillows and as you cover your naked body oh so gently with a single white cotton sheet. You can feel the cotton on your skin. It feels good. In fact, you didn’t notice before just how cotton felt. Now you do.

You wonder just how your skin became so sensitive. You think about all the different ways you now know how to awaken your senses. You get excited that you have only just begun to skim the surface of your hidden treasure.

Now go back a little. Read the Initial Post, Part 1 and Part 2 once again. Enjoy repeating the new ways you learned how to explore your body without actually touching your genitals – yet.


Just a moment longer.


And enjoy the wait.

Matt Chase 😉

Connecting Emotionally When Making Love

Did you know that you can make love on a one night stand? Even kink (BDSM/Fetish etc) can be an emotionally connected experience. Trust me – I know.

Once upon a time in Amsterdam I was on the telephone to my Teacher (Guru/Spiritual Advisor) and she said to me:

“You seem different. Your voice is deeper, you’re more grounded and very in your body… I know! You are sexually satisfied for the first time in your life!” My Teacher exclaimed with such force that it woke me up.

“Oh great” I fumed “It took fifteen men” I was genuinely gutted by this realisation – who has the time to be arranging mass orgies every time sexual satisfaction is needed?

My Teacher went into an explanation of hedonism and its relation to spiritual development. We also discussed the effect of sexual satisfaction on the body, mind and self-esteem. I really had experienced such satisfaction that my entire view of the world (and the people in it) changed overnight. I was thirty four years old.

The reason that it had taken that long to sexually satisfy me is because I had spent most of my sexually active life satisfying my sexual partners and had become so good at it that they became accustomed to me being the ‘better’ partner in bed. Thus, what this meant was that they very often felt intimidated by me in the bedroom and so often either didn’t attempt to satisfy me or they did try and, mainly because of trying too hard, didn’t quite make it happen.

I’m making a sweeping generalisation here but I believe it’s true – the Dutch have such a grounded, earthy and sensual understanding of sexuality that they often make better lovers. Add fifteen or so Dutch men to the equation in trying to solve the sexual frustrations of an English man and = bingo. I learned a lot that weekend in Amsterdam…

I have always been good at sex. That is, I have always had a natural skill of making another person tingle by simply touching them pretty much anywhere. But there was something missing – I didn’t know how to bring myself into the equation – what was I avoiding?

I learned this on that enlightening weekend in Amsterdam – I was avoiding bringing my emotions into any sexual relationship I was having.

I changed that.

I do things differently (you may have noticed that).

Come find out why…

More Very Soon,

Matt Chase xx

How to Masturbate – Part 2 (Very Mature Content)

The title to this series is very tongue-in-cheek. Who am I to teach you how to masturbate? Well, more on my credentials at a much later date…. but for now: just go with it…

When I make love to myself I first make sure that the basics are covered: that the room is warm enough, that I am clean (have just showered or had a bath), that I am emotionally ready (by this I mean that I am not using sex as a distraction, just as I would if I were making love with someone else), that I won’t be disturbed (the phone is switched off etc) and finally – that I have a box of tissues to hand.

Now, let’s begin lesson 2: It’s not all about the genitals!

Where on your body do you begin to masturbate? The clitoris? Your penis? Well you can if you like but would you do that if you were making love to someone else? Would you dive straight in? I don’t think so.

So why not approach yourself the same way you would approach a lover? Slowly, gently, sensually. Grab that massage oil, you know, the massage oil you keep in your bedside table, and dab just the tiniest drop onto your lips, massage it in, stroke them, tease your finger inside your mouth a little (whether you are male or female – this zone is erogenous and let no-one tell you different and if you are physically challenged, ask a friend or professional sex worker to assist you OR see later posts for expert tips) and enjoy it.

Other erogenous zones to enjoy (again – male or female) are: inside your elbows, behind your ears, your neck, nipples (yes, men too!), behind the knees, inner thigh and sacrum. Try tapping the sacrum a few times whilst stimulating the soft spot in the throat – the area directly between the collar bones. Be gentle here, but this throat area and the sacrum are important energy centres – the sacrum is associated with sexual pleasure and the throat is about giving and receiving. It stands to nature (see what I did there?) that connecting the two will enhance your sexual pleasure. More erogenous zones covered in a later post, try sticking with these for now and really take your time with them.

Have fun exploring. I’m keeping these posts short and factual so not to disturb you… I’ll leave you to it.

Matt 🙂

More Sex Please, I’m British :-)

It is a myth that the British are prudish, repressed and asexual. It’s also true that the British can be prudish, repressed and asexual but the same is entirely true of any nation across the globe. People are people.

When I was in India a few years ago I spent three months living with the locals in a small village in the South. It was still a relatively touristy area but I stayed off the beaten track so that I could still get to know a little about local life, without increasing the risk of ‘Delhi Belly’ (because the touristy area provided Western food when my gut needed the rest). I got to know the young Indian lads pretty well and soon after they had welcomed me into their confidence, the questions started to fly from their lips:

            “Mr Matt, if my white stuff go on the girl’s stomach, can the girl get the baby?”

            “Mr Matt, my white stuff went in the girl mouth – will she now have the baby?”

The questions were very, very serious and delivered with such fear that I dare not raise a smile. The men who asked me this were from the ages of nineteen up to twenty six. Sex was not discussed in school, by their parents or even amongst some of the young men. Thankfully a handful of young men were particularly overtly sexual and this gave the more shy men permission to open up a topic. The problem, as with any rabble of adolescents, is that a lot of misinformation was bandied about by the ‘experts’. Enter ‘Mr Matt’:

            “No, the girl cannot get the baby if the white stuff go in the mouth or on the skin. But really you need to be careful with the white stuff in the mouth…. (I then try to explain about STI’s, badly, so give up and continue basic Sex Ed) …the girl can only get the baby if the white stuff go inside the girl’s parts…” here I do the actions, I’m sure you can imagine….

It’s funny. Of course it’s funny. But it is also deeply saddening that men are not being educated on basic sex education. Most men are too frightened to go to the chemist to buy condoms and some men don’t even know what condoms do. Why? Because not enough people are brave enough to talk about sex (and the ones who are don’t know what they’re talking about, through no fault of their own).

Isn’t this the case everywhere?

I don’t really think about the impact of how I talk to people until it’s pointed out to me. Some years ago I was assisting a colleague with a personal development group and a guy pulled me aside to ask me if I’d give him some healing (I was a professional healer at the time). I am a little psychic and picked up on the fact that his partner was making him have the kind of sex that he didn’t want. So I told him:

“I’m happy to give you some healing, but really you just need to face up to what is really happening in your relationship. You need to be having sex that is emotionally connected, not just ‘head-sex’” My colleague was nearby and chipped in, in order to appease the shocked look on the guy’s face:

“Oh don’t mind Matt, he tells it like it is”. Don’t we all? No we don’t and maybe that’s the problem.

I don’t ‘tell it like it is’ all the time and am becoming more and more aware of the times that I avoid being this honest. Why do I do this? Why do any of us do this? I think it’s high time we put our mouths where our hormones are because think of the dire consequences if we don’t:

Terrified teenagers, confused twenty six years olds and pregnant young people – all because we were too stuck in our ‘No sex please, I’m #enteryournationalityhere#’

Was it worth it?

Were we having fun?

No, I didn’t think so.

So let’s have more sex please – because we’re human.

Until Next Time,

Matt xx

And Further More… (A Rant About Health)

So seeing as today is national ‘Time To Talk Day’ – a very special day dedicated to ending the discrimination and isolation experienced by people suffering a mental health problem, I thought I would just make my second post of the day to shout out on behalf of all the millions of people suffering from: Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Social Phobia, Social Anxiety, Low Mood, Paranoia, Bipolar Disorder, Schizoaffective Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD, Schizophrenia, Psychosis, #nameyourmentalhealthhellhere# –




Today’s the Day

Today is the first ever national Time To Talk Day (UK) with the aim of starting a million conversations about mental health. This day is being held by Time To Change – a fantastic, clear and genuine organisation with the aim of ending the stigma around mental health (after all, we all have mental health) by, drum roll please… Talking.

It isn’t rocket science and I love this organisation’s grounded and simple approach.

Let’s talk…. how are you feeling today?

Me? I’m pretty good. I have a little anxiety, I’d put it at a two out of ten, I have some excitement to do with plans I am making and dreams that I have, and I am also slightly frustrated. Thanks for asking 🙂


Matt xx

How to Masturbate – Part 1 (Very Mature Content. Don’t Look!)

And of course… tell someone not to look… 😉

Hello and welcome dear friend, to the follow-up from the post ‘Masturbation’ and the beginning of a series of posts on the art of self-love. The posts may or may not be consecutive and I may or may not be posting unrelated entries in-between some of the entries on masturbation. Let’s just see how and where this takes us and besides: I like to keep you on your toes 🙂

Okay people, so how do you take care of yourself? And let me take this opportunity to mention that this post and the following posts are for everyone – if you are physically challenged, there are ways other than using your hands that you can pleasure yourself. You may also need another person there to assist you, in which case they will become your auxiliary hand. More on this later because we’re not quite ‘there’ yet…

There is a scene in ‘Sex and the City’ where Samantha announces that she spent two hours masturbating that afternoon. Miranda replies: “Two hours? Who has the time? I like to get in and get out!” Samantha responds: “Oh I’m all for a quickie but when it’s as good as today, I just go with it…” This is a fantastic piece of writing and, in my view, a great insight into going with the natural responses of your body. Masturbation does not have to be a quick ‘get in and get out’ affair, in fact, the more holistic (or I prefer the word: ‘Wholistic’ although I’m not sure it’s a word at all) a manner you make love to yourself, the longer the effects last. This has massive psychological, emotional, energetic and hormonal benefits.

Love making feels good. Generally speaking, the more ‘complete’ and nourishing a love making session feels (whether alone or with someone) – the longer the effects last. Ever noticed that? You will now.

Go and have a go right now. Take a nice hot bath, light some candles, get yourself your favourite massage oil from the bedside table (you do have massage oil in the bedside table, right?) and get yourself comfortable (but not too comfortable) and let us begin.. Oh, right, it’s masturbation, it’s kinda a D.I.Y thing, you don’t need me to be here for that…. I’ll leave you to it.

More Next Time,

Much Love,

Matt Chase xx


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